The Dividing Line

“So tell me how it happened.” Detective Grate said, pacing the room.
“You know I had to do it. I had to live.” Lucas said, shivering from being cold still. “You mind if I smoke in here?” he blurted, taking out a cigarette and lighting it. His hair was still wet.
“Tell me how it happened.” Grate repeated.
“My mission was to infiltrate the suspected U.N.I. base and gather information- specifically proof they were communicating.” Lucas took a huge hit off his cigarette, and felt warmth surround his body. “And after two weeks I was able to find out they were using a program that gave different ISP numbers when they connected to the Internet. I was able to copy the program onto a floppy disk one night, and planned my escape later.”
“How did that prove they were communicating?”
“The program was riddled with U.N.I. numbers and codes the department had found before. Can I continue my story?”
“Go on.”
“Thanks,” he took another long hit and breathed out the smoke, “What I didn’t expect was to find some of the people there so friendly. I never expected to meet Ann. She was beautiful. Long brown hair, beautiful green-hazel eyes. Her nose jutted out a little, but I didn’t mind because her cheeks were the rosiest I’ve ever seen. And I can’t believe how athletic she was.
“I was sitting in the barn one day, and one of the horses somehow got loose. I swore she ran a straight shot to the horse and tackled it like a defensive tackle. Most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. And her personality? Sweetest girl you’d ever meet, and sharpest tongue of the south.
“She could bake an apple pie, have you chewed up for calling her a typical female, and then made love to you on the kitchen table while that pie cooled. She was wonderful in so many aspects. And as my job entails, I rarely met women that I didn’t have to kill minutes later.”
“So this Ann, she was part of the U.N.I.?” Grate said, starting to pace again.
“Sadly, yes. As you can tell, I fell in love with her. I stayed another month, trying to find out if she was just a helper like I was pretending to be or one of them. And during that month, I tried to have her fall for me. I wanted her so badly to not be a part of the group, to be able to come home-“
“Home?” Grate said, stopping his pacing.
“I was hoping to retire soon. I was going to request it, because you know I’m getting worn out. This job is for the younger, and I’m too old for it.” Lucas said taking another long hit from his cigarette and letting it out in smoke circles.
“I see. So- what happened with this Ann? She was part of the U.N.I. and an obvious enemy to us, and thus an enemy of yours.”
“I found out she was a lieutenant in the organization. A higher up authority among them, and yet I still wanted her to accept me. I wanted her to love me in return. I made sure every morning I was at my job, doing work before others. She liked that. I did extra things, helped her out when I wasn’t doing anything.
“I got a call from HQ about the end of the month asking for information. I couldn’t lie to them, so I had to send them the program. They planned an attack immediately, and told me what I had to do in order to help them.
“I wanted to cut the officer’s throat when he told me. There was nothing I could do, but try to make her love me and change her ways. U.N.I. could not have had that much of an influence on her.
“She seemed to start to want to be with me. She started flirting. She invited me inside the house for dinner, which was rare for any worker not living there- and many of them didn’t. One night, we even sat out in the barn and talked for hours.
“She knew who I was. I’m sure of it. Because we talked about work and love. She told me that there was a dividing line between the two- you couldn’t love and let work get in your way. You couldn’t work and let love get in the way. You had to make a choice about your life, she said. And she knew that her work was for her.
“I understood. At least, I pretended to. I had to choose work. So when they contacted me a week later, they told me what I had to do the next night. They told me to sneak in, tie everyone up, and burn down the farm house. They would destroy the rest of it; I was just to focus on the house.” Lucas was holding tears back, as his fingers tapped his ash onto the old wooden table. He took a long moment to breathe in the air around him. And then he took a hit off his cigarette again, a long hit.
“You were going to burn down the house and the people, correct?” Grate said.
“Right,” Lucas said, “but they intercepted the call. They knew we were coming, and the men set up in the barn with guns. They set up the house too. I was already inside it when the troops came in and the firing started. I acted surprised, and I was because they weren’t supposed to be there for hours. They had come early.
“The men inside the house grabbed guns and left Ann and me inside. I got a call: go on with my orders. I told them the house was empty, the men were outside. They told me they saw a woman inside. Go on with the orders.
“I told Ann I needed to talk with her, that it wasn’t safe to watch. It would be safer to go into her room and talk. We would be safe there. Safe. She knew what was coming.
“As we entered I pulled my gun to shoot her, and end it faster. But she knew, and pulled a gun on me. We were eye to eye, guns pointed at each other. She didn’t love me. She didn’t even care about me. I told her to drop the gun. Just drop the fucking gun and sit on the bed, and everything would be fine. Everything would be over soon. I had more men; my men were trained. Her forces would be wiped, and if she didn’t sit on the bed they’d have to kill her.
“She just stood there and looked at me. Anger filled her eyes. Fear filled her eyes. She knew I loved her. She knew she had me on a leash. She didn’t back down.” Lucas was staring off into the room now. His eyes were seeing things as they unfolded and still held back tears. He refused to blink, because if he did the tears would fall and he couldn’t dare look at Grate. His eyes were obviously in pain.
Grate just stood there waiting for him to continue.
“Ten minutes passed, and my arm began to get tired. She wouldn’t speak. She wasn’t sad. She just stared at me. With hate. And I stared at her, in love with this girl and having to shoot her if she made any move towards me. She dropped the gun and told me to drop mine. I did. She hugged me and kissed me on my lips.
“I was confused, but I kissed back. I felt her arms wrap around me. I felt my hands meet her hips. And I felt her love. I felt the love I desired. Or so I thought.
“As we were getting closer, I felt something was wrong. As she lifted her hand off my back, my instincts took over. I pushed her away, grabbed her hand and shoved the knife she was going to stab me with into her chest then broke her neck. Not on purpose, it was all instinct. She was going to kill me. I had no choice. I had to live. I knew I could have saved her still, but what was the use? I wanted her to love me, and it was impossible.
“I set the house on fire. Her body burned with it. My clothes and identity at the time burnt too. With little knowledge though, a second U.N.I. organization had been nearby in larger numbers. They attacked us, and I ran into the nearby woods, with no clothes on. I hid in the woods in a small creek, and that’s where you found me. That’s all the information I have.” Lucas said, taking another hit off his cigarette and wiping his eyes.
“Lieutenant Ann was a big part of their arsenal Lucas. You did a good thing. U.N.I. won’t survive much longer now because of her death.” Grate said.
“I see.” Lucas said, averting his eyes.
“I’ll look into seeing about you retiring. Put in a good word. And if you’re interested, I have a niece about your age who’s single.”
“That’s OK. I need to work. And there’s a dividing line between work and love.” Lucas said, putting out the cigarette.