The Fated: Episode 7

Nathan sat on the edge of his perfectly made bed, looking down at her. The photo was tattered by the years that had passed since they had taken it- their freshman year of high school. Almost 7 years ago.

He could remember those days when her dirty blonde- that had bits of both brown and red- moved so easily among her face. When her face was bubbly, her body thin, and her mind innocent. He could remember it all.

"Hi, I'm Devon." She said it with a smile that made her whole face shine. He took her hand and shook it.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Nathan."

"Well, looks like we're sitting next to each other Nathan. You new to this school?"

"No, I've been through the district."

"Strange, I don't remember seeing you in middle school."

"Yeah, I definitely don't remember seeing you." They laughed. It was kind of a forced laugh. Devon seemed interested from the very beginning.

A teardrop fell on the picture. Nathan thought of when they got together, the day at the amusement park. It was like something out of a movie, with the rain falling and people running. The lights going out in the park, only to have emergency lights illuminating the walkway. they sat on a bench, under a tree in the pouring rain- lightning shooting out all sorts of ways in the sky above.

"I really like you," Nathan shouted out in the pouring rain.

"What?"

"I said I really like you," he tried again.

"I can't hear you over the rain and thunder!"

"Ugh, I just want to go out with you already and this stupid rain is making it impossible after I got the balls to tell you that I liked you a lot."

"You like what a lot?"

He knew she could hear the entire time, then, and grabbed her around her waist. She struggled to get loose, but couldn't. Their hands met and clasped each others as they made it into a darkened arcade. As other park guests stood and watched the rain, they kissed gently. Their first kiss, of not just each other but of anyone. And as they finished, they looked at each other and giggled- running back into the pouring rain and through the park once more to leave.

A teardrop fell on the picture. He held back his tears as much as he could, but his memories kept coming back. He remembered their first date- dinner at the old pizza place and a movie. He remembered their first dance, a homecoming for their football team. They lost the game, and the pictures were awful.

"I look ridiculous in this picture," Nathan said when he first saw it.

"You look handsome to me." She kissed his cheek, making him blush and smile. He thought he looked handsome after that.

A teardrop fell on the picture. He couldn't believe how far they had come. How much she had changed. 7 years ago she was this girl he loved so deeply, and now he sat there on the edge of his bed only remembering the fond days of his past with tears clogging his eyes.

Her eyes were blue. He could remember as she laid there, naked on his bed, for the first time. He looked into the deep blue as they lost their virginity to each other. He could remember each facial expression she made. She was his in that moment, and he was hers.

A teardrop fell on the picture. It was covered in them now, running down her color-faded face and off the side. He still loved her as he sat there, staring at the picture.

"I guess this is goodbye for now?" She was standing behind her car, now plastered with university stickers and full of suitcases.

"I'll come visit, and meet all of the new friends you're going to make." He grabbed her waist and held her close.

"I'm going to miss you so much." She sniffled, trying not to cry- but knowing she would.

"I'm going to miss you too." He kissed her as if it was simply a normal thing now. "I love you so much."

"I love you too. I should really get going though, so you're coming next month then?"

"Yes, and I'm allowed to stay in your dorm with you?"

"Yep. Our first sleep over."

He let her go after more goodbyes. Her family stood by, hugged and waved. Her dad got into the car, her in the passenger seat. One more kiss, a long and deep one followed by one more I love you. Then she was off down the street, on her way.

A teardrop fell on the picture. Nathan let out a giant sigh. He remembered calling her, saying he couldn't come up suddenly because of work. Then one day they just stopped talking for two weeks. He got busy. Nothing else mattered but success, and they forgot each other for a brief moment.

And the next thing he knew, it was three years later and he was finally visiting her.

"O-M-G! Nathan! I haven't seen you in so long!" She hugged him, but he could barely recognize her under the fake spray-on tan and highlighted blonde hair. Her face looked pudgy from, what he assumed and later found out, drinking alcohol and getting what they called "shitfaced drunk" every weekend. And the weekends started on Thursdays or earlier.

"It's been forever."

"Come meet my sisters! They're going to love you."

She dragged him into her house, Greek letters plastered on the doorway. Inside was already littered with beer cans- some empty some not.

"Hey girls! This is my boyfriend Nate, remember I told you girls about him?"

"Oh my Gee! He is so hot!" One of them said.

"Yeah forreal, I can't believe he's dating you- you skank!" Another girl said.

"You're the skank, whore!" Devon said back to her.

"You stupid bitch, why were you hiding such a hottie so far away from us?" A third girl walked into the room, biting her nails. All the girls in the room looked like the other one, at least to Nathan. They continued their talking about how hot he was, until one of the girls realized they were supposed to get a six-pack of alcohol for a friend.

They soon were at a party, Nathan not sure what had lead him to it.

"Hey baby, you want a drink?" He looked at the alcohol in the cup that Devon was trying to pass to him. He hated the taste. He hated the feeling he got from a buzz. "What's wrong, baby?" She kissed him for the first time since he had arrived. Her lips left a taste of alcohol and flavored lip-gloss.

"I don't drink, Devon. I think we need to leave this party."

"But it's just getting started, and we're gonna have so much fun later back at my place. My sisters want you to fuck them."

"What? What do you mean?"

"It's just sex, don't worry."

"Just sex? It's not just sex, it means something- c'mon we need to talk and not here." He grabbed her arm and started dragging out of the party- a plastic red cup still in her hand. As they came outside, he looked at her and realized she was drinking from the cup.

"What the hell, Devon?"

"What?"

"What happened to the sweet little girl that left for college. You're drinking alcohol outside, you're a part of this horrible sorority that's full of all these girls that look alike. And what did you do with your hair?"

"My sister dyed it."

"Your sister? Your twelve year old sister at home that you've barely seen the last three years, because you're too busy on campus to even come home during the holidays or summer? I haven't seen you since the day you left for this place."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I want to know what happened to my girlfriend. Do you go to these parties and get drunk and sleep with guys?"

"No! I'd never cheat on you." She was crying, tears running down her fake tan.

"Then what is with this? You'd never do something like this to just belong. This isn't you."

"It wasn't. I'm still the me under all of this, and I hate alcohol too. It sucks. The hangovers are horrible, and they just keep passing you drinks hoping you'll pass out and they can rape you."

"Did somebody rape you?"

"No, I don't pass out. I have control over my shit when I drink, and my sisters are always with me."

"God, Devon. I don't even know what to say to you."

"I love you."

"I love you too, but this is ridiculous." They kissed again, and he could still taste the alcohol she had drank.

"I wanna go back to my place and do something we haven't done in three years." She bit her lip. He could only nod his head.

As they began to make love, he looked into her eyes again. They were blue. But he couldn't see the girl he loved, like he did when they lost their virginity. He saw someone else. It was as if her soul had grown old and tired with the drinking and spray-on tans over the years. With the slight weight gain, that sometimes only a trained eye could see. He wasn't hers, and she certainly wasn't his.

He fell asleep in her bed, awaking to find her gone again. He checked his phone to find a text saying she had gone back to the party. It was sent at 3 AM, and was almost 6.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes, looking around the room. He didn't recognize any of her belongings. Nothing was familiar to him. Then he noticed on the dresser sat old pictures of her and her family, and one of him. He walked over to one and picked it up. It was an old picture of her from senior year.

He sat on her bed with it. She didn't look like that anymore. She didn't look like anything he knew anymore.

"She's dead." He said to himself in the dark room.

He got up and got dressed, grabbed his car keys and walked out the front door. He sent her a text saying he was leaving. If she wanted anything she could come find him at home, but he wasn't going to sit around while she partied.

He drove back without another reply. He tried not to care, but felt hurt as he walked into his house checking his phone- hoping it would ring.

No one was awake in his house as he walked into his bedroom, just as he had left it. Just as it was almost 7 years ago- as very little had changed in his room.

He sat down. He had hoped she was going to text back, saying for him not to leave. Telling him she was still the same girl underneath all of the spray-on tans and hair dye. That she'd turn back into the girl who didn't act as if sex was meaningless, and that alcohol was just water that made you feel good.

But there was no text, no voicemail, no calls, no email. There was nothing.

A teardrop fell on the picture. It had been three days since he visited her. Neither of them had said anything. He happened to find the picture as he was looking through his sock drawer, and it all hit him at once. All his emotions. All his guilt, shame, hatred. All his pain, agony, love.

He realized then that she really was dead. The old her was gone, and now it was not the same. He had to let go. He had to say goodbye to her, because they weren't going to work out their differences. The girl in the picture he once loved was now a girl he couldn't stand.

"I have to let her go," he said out loud to himself while holding back tears. "She's dead."

He felt as though he had really lost her, but there was no funeral. There was no goodbyes for anyone else, just him. Only he could see her dead.

He stared at the picture, holding back the tears. He grabbed his phone, and called her.

"Nathan, where did you go?"

"Home. I texted you."

"I didn't get it, I guess."

"It's been three days, you didn't call me or anything."

"I got so busy. You didn't call me either."

"I got busy too."

"Listen, I really want this to work out but I don't know if-" she stopped and yelled at someone in the background.

"Devon, this isn't going to work out."

"Wait, what?"

He stared at her old picture, and remembered her saying hi to him. "I love you, Devon. But I don't love what you are. I love what you were. I love the old you."

"Nathan, wait. Please. Don't say what I think you're going to say. I want to work this out. I love you too, and I want to work this out so much."

"You're not the girl I fell in love with, Devon. You're just not."

"Nathan, please." She was crying. He heard someone ask a question in the background. "I don't fuckin' know, I'm on the phone asshole!" She yelled back at them, through her tears.

"Devon, I love you so much. I wish I could just turn back what I saw but I can't. You aren't you anymore. And because of that, I don't love you. I love something that doesn't exist anymore."

"I know, I know- I fucked up, OK? But I can change. We can make this work."

"How? I'm not going to be there, Devon. You're not going to just stop going to parties and gettin' fake tans all of a sudden. Especially if I'm not there."

"Then why can't you be? Why couldn't you have come up here? We could've been married and happy right now. But you had to just go to the other school and stay home."

"Yeah, I did. We both fucked up, OK? But I didn't change like you did."

"You can't tell me this is it. You can't tell me that after all these years, this is goodbye."

"I think it is."

They were both silent.

"I love you." She said.

He swallowed hard, wanting to say it back. "Goodbye, Devon."

He hung up the phone and let the tears fall down his face. It was over. She was gone. He put his hands over his eyes, trying to stop from crying- but it was no use. He put his phone down on the table, knocking her picture to the floor under him as he continued to cry out his misery.

A teardrop fell on the color-faded picture of a dead girl.