Demons

"Hey dude, so you asked me to come here."

"Ah, Kevin. Glad you could make it." Jack put the book down he was reading and shook Kevin's hand.

"Don't make me regret it. What do you want?"

"Have a seat. You want to order anything?"

"No. Not hungry."

"Really? I'm surprised you haven't worked up an appetite being a, how should I put this? Asshole."

"I will walk away right now."

"Ya know, go ahead. Don't hear what I have to say. But since you came all the way here, I'm sure you're at the very least curious."

"Fine." Kevin waved his hand and leaned back in the booth, waiting for Jack to speak.

"We had a falling out. Shit happens. Shit was said. We disagreed on so many key points- and I sucked it all up and let things slide. Hell, I apologized forthright and you never did say you were sorry. Makes me sometimes wonder if you were and think you weren't, but that's besides the point here." Jack took out a glass bottle, filled with a clear liquid.

Kevin eyed the glass bottle, curious. He licked his lips in fear.

"Even though you won't say you're sorry for calling my sister a loser. For all the awful jokes you've told, because you didn't like her. For every judgemental thing you've said about people you barely know- even though you won't say you're sorry...I forgive you. Because honestly the only people who in the end really will forgive you is Jesus and me. Not to say I'm Jesus or anything, but if you're looking for forgiveness from a friend- and true honest forgiveness and not that little bullshit holding it in until one day it erupts kind of thing...then yeah, you're only looking at me."

Kevin scoffed at the idea.

"Yeah, I know. You're thinking so many people would forgive you. They won't. Not when they realize you were really manipulating them to do what you wanted. Wording everything just the right way, and forcing your ideas onto friends and colleagues alike until they either agreed with your or walked away. And if they walked away, all you could say is they didn't understand you. The difference here is, despite everything you said and did- you walked away from me. Because I had the balls to stand up to your jackassery. To tell you the truth."

Jack took out a shot glass and set it on the table. Kevin eyed it, nervous.

"And not just admit that I was wrong, but that you were wrong. And that you were wrong so many times. And you didn't like that, because you don't like being wrong, do you Kevin?"

Kevin was quiet. Licking his lips, nervously.

"And thus I lost trust in you and you lost trust in me, because we both are similar. We both have issues in our past that make us feel abandoned, betrayed. And we put on these masks to hide ourselves. We put on these masks to make our insanity seem OK. To make our actions plausible and reasonable. We don't care that someone gets hurt, if we don't agree with them. And what was our conclusion? Do you remember? You know why you said we did these things?"

Kevin said nothing.

"I know you do. You told me you were possessed by a demon, and you could sense I was too. For years I felt like I had been, like something deep inside me was making me do these things. And it was a demon, but not the kind you're thinking of. It was a demon I had created. The past. Every little detail of every bad thing I had done or every bad thing someone had done to me. Every lie I told, every smile that wasn't a smile. Every second I lied to others and myself. My issues, always wanting to feel loved because I never did. I never felt love from my parents, I never felt it from my family, I never felt it from my friends. And when I did feel it, I just wound up hurt. I couldn't trust anyone but myself, and even then that was a lie. And you did the same damn thing. You never felt loved either."

Jack took out another shot glass and set it on the table.

"We went through life as friends, knowing this about each other. We coped with our demon the best we could. You used sex. I used drugs. We both used art. We were content with that, but I never agreed with what you did and you never agreed with what I did. Our coping mechanisms- both of us striving to feel what love is...were different. And we could never agree on that. We could only agree on art. And art is where we lived, but the difference was that I needed the success...and you didn't. You were OK coping with your demon through sex. Drugs didn't do it for me though, because I didn't have somebody else there with me. I didn't have someone acting as though they wanted me. The drugs never filled a hole that I had, but the sex filled yours."

Jack opened the bottle and set the cap on the table.

"I strived for success. For acceptance as someone normal. We both thought we were special, but were striving for normality. Giving our demons any chance to show themselves. And that's where we began to differ. You could cope with yours, as long as your demon took over. But as mine couldn't cope, my demon slowly came out in other ways. I lashed out, I became depressed, I attached to people I shouldn't have. I became obsessed with the idea of time and the reason why I am here. I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn't normal. I was meant to succeed in life, and I had a reason- but everyone else didn't. I saw the future, just like you. I sensed the demons just like you did. I felt the world as different as the guy standing next to me."

Jack poured the liquid into the first shot glass.

"And these demons, they became real. You even named yours. Our memories lapsed on purpose. We didn't want to admit we were responsible for such horrible acts. We didn't want to admit we were normal. We wanted to be special, because we wanted to be loved. And then I finally felt as though I was loved. And I was scared I was going to lose it. I was so scared. And then I did, because I was scared. Because I was so fucking scared of losing something I fucking lost it. Doesn't that scream irony? Doesn't that make you want to write a book about how ironic it is?"

Jack breathed in heavily. He swallowed hard and poured the liquid into the other shot glass.

"And that's when I realized, I was responsible for everything. I wasn't possessed by anything. I never saw the future. I don't know what I saw sometimes. It doesn't matter. We rely on the paranormal to explain the normal. Because, here's the key Kevin...anyone who thinks they're special, is really normal. Everyone has problems, everyone has their little issues. And everyone is told to think they're special. And it's irony again, because the people who are special, think they're normal. Think about all of the people who really have something extraordinary. All of them think it's normal. They think nothing of it. And yet look around you. Everyone of these people thinks they're special. In reality they are but normal."

"What's the point of all this?"

"The point is that you and I are normal human beings. And to be human, is to err. So I forgive you, for being a normal human being." Jack slid the shot glass over slowly. "And I want you, as a friend, to deal with your demon. Let's start with trust."

"What is this?"

"That's the point. Trust me. because I'll trust you here. You can choose what happens. We can both do the shots. You can do your shot, or I can only do my shot. It's all based on trust. Do you think I put poison in there? Do you think I pissed in a cup and am going to make you drink my own piss water? Or is it something you're allergic to that's in there? Maybe even if I drink this, you could drink it and start having an allergic reaction. Or vice versa. Maybe I put something in it that I'm allergic to, and I trust that you won't make me drink it. Or maybe nothing will happen. So, what will it be?"

"I don't want to play this game."

"What will it be, Kevin?"

"You really think trust is the problem? Man, you're so far off. You think-"

"I'm not here for one of your little speeches where you have to give your opinion on every little thing that's happened. I'm here to forgive you, and let you make up for what the fuck has happened. All of the shit you've done, I'm letting go of. So you can either make a choice right now, or watch me make one for you- because apparently you can't even do that."

"Fine," Kevin grabbed the shot and swallowed it whole. "There. I trust you. Are you happy now?"

"Feel any different?"

"No."

"Let's wait. How's your job, by the way?"

"It's OK."

They talked for a bit. Ten minutes passed.

"It's been ten minutes. Feel any different?"

"No. I feel fine."

Jack grabbed his shot and knocked it back.

"Good stuff."

"It was just water, wasn't it?"

"Water."

"See, I trust you."

"Then you trust me that there is no demon inside either of us controlling us. We are the only ones in control."

"I don't know."

"There is no demon. You created it."

"It controls me man, I can't-"

"Stop. You're normal with issues. There is no demon."

"How can you say that?"

"Because that was holy water you just drank." Kevin sat, staring at the shot glass. "Now you can really face your demons."